Does God Care?

A few weeks ago we were facing some difficulties that I felt like I didn’t really deserve to face. Partly because it’s something we’ve been dealing with on and off for years.

The background

My son has had in-home nursing since he came home from the hospital, medically fragile at 3 months of age. About 40+ nurses have been through our homes during that time. Imagine opening up your home to complete strangers, training them on caregiving, parenting babies, toddlers, and then teens in front of them, only to have them leave a year or two later.

It’s exhausting, and honestly, it’s getting old. I’m tired of allowing yet one more person to walk through my door. I know the list of all the reasons I should be grateful; one being many need nurses and don’t have them. But I’m done. Two more nurses are leaving, and after 16 years with this gig, I’m tired of starting over and experiencing the same trial again.

​What is it about our aging children that we feel like we shouldn’t have to start over or go through similar trials repeatedly?

The conversation

I honestly don’t know. I just know I was angry, mad, and frustrated and ready to throw up my hands and be done. I was reminded of a conversation I had with God when our son was a little guy.

It went something like this:
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​Me: God, why does my son have to suffer through this uncertainty? Don’t you care?
​God: Yes, I care
​Me: Can’t you prevent this from happening?
​God: I could, but think about all the lives you’re impacting for my sake: those who get to see Christ’s love through your family as a result.
​Me: But it isn’t fair that he is suffering through this. Don’t you know what that’s like?
​God: I do, and I did. I know what it’s like to watch my son suffer; he did so on the cross for you.
​Me: Yeah, that trumps me.
​God: Don’t forget. You never go through this alone. I know how you feel, and I will always be with you. Is it worth it to you if one person knows me who didn’t know me before? Is it work it if one person can experience my love through your family?
​Me: I think it is. But this is still hard.
​God: I’ll help you!
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It can be so easy when we experience suffering to think that God doesn’t know or doesn’t care. That somehow he’s forgotten us. It can be easy to believe that past suffering causes immunity from future sorrow. But that’s not true either. The truth is Jesus knows our suffering. He lived it on earth. He left heaven. He was rejected, abused, betrayed, and crucified for us. He will never leave us nor forsake us.

​What does this mean for you?

Where are you questioning whether God is present in your life? Can you look back and remember when he’s already been with you?

What are you facing today that you feel isn’t fair? Tell God about it, he already knows.